Journey towards Finding the Ultimate

Journeying with Philo 106 is truly an adventure. It really turned my views upside down. At first, I was a little bit disgusted in dealing with the very core of my existence. I have a hard time coping up with the discussion about my existence, only to know that it was not yet the very point of the course, instead only an introduction. But in later days and months, as we dig into the details of the course, I gained interest in searching for the truth behind the religion I have. Well, I am thankful for my instructor that she really did imparted to us the lesson in a very organized manner. It started from knowing our very self, then to our religion and to the truths behind it. I admit it’s not easy to deal with all those philosophical articles.  You really have to dig into its details and relate it with the other article and so on and so forth. But if you really give in yourself to the procedure, you’ll really learn a lot of things about life.

             In the process, I realized that I am not yet mature as to how I understand my religion. In fact, I learned in my journey that there are a lot of things that I have not known yet as regard to such. I was slapped with the reality of the atheist’s claim against my belief which somehow makes the road shaky in the sense that I want to reconcile both stance but I don’t know how to compromise. I understand the atheists’ criticism against my religion and I even agree to them in some points which I guess speaks a lot of truths about the way how we are governed by our religious authorities. Furthermore, I felt guilty in the ride because I feel like I’m betraying my own self, my own views and worst, my faith. I hate it to feel that way but then I remember one of the articles having such thought as “you have to be an atheist first before you’ll become a Christian”. With that, I made myself believe that maybe it was part of the flight in finding the Ultimate. Well, I’m thankful to have taken this subject because it leads me towards maturity for my faith. I am now aware that sometimes it pays a good realization and it adds more meaning to question our views, beliefs and even others perspective. It’s not right to just accept the ideas that have been prepared before us without asking for its underlying truths. Life is more meaningful if we get to know in  our bare self  the path we ought to take for in there, we’ll discover the essence of allowing ourselves to be in that place. How then Philo 106 changed me as a person? How am I after the journey?

            As the semester had ended though, Philo106 may have ended too; but the learning and insights in the said travel will forever remain. Now, I’m more convinced that even if how many claims are there criticizing my religion, even if how true they are in there claims; at the end of the day, I only have Him. My faith in God as of the moment turned out to be clearer as compared before because I learned that it’s not the rituals and belief that matters now, instead it’s the sincerity of the heart that lead us to deeper understanding of our religion. Way back when I was a kid, I have a strong belief that God exist in every moment may it be in success or hardships, joy or sorrows. I used to believe it until now and I was amazed that in the discussion of the last article, God is indeed believed to have been with us in every journey that we had. I’m more confident now to continue with this life positively and with hope that God may guide me throughout the end of this borrowed life. I guessed I have to admit that I’ve gain maturity not only in faith but in life as a whole for I’m opening up myself to a bigger perspective of reality. Just as when our family talked about current problems that we’re experiencing, I now know how to uplift their hopes and I’m more positive in overcoming with such hardships. Sometimes, I am thinking that I’m more matured in dealing with life now than my mother who easily gets disappointed with life’s sufferings. I just hope that I could share to my family all my learning in this journey so that in turn they become tougher and optimistic of making each day more meaningful in behalf of all those challenges that the world offers.

            Indeed, this journey really made me find the Ultimate source of my being. It leads me to understand the importance of deep caring, moral conscience and suffering in the midst of each life. It’s only in those cases wherein we realized our purpose with the Ultimate one. With that, I realized that I should have not regretted and blamed life in those situations wherein I felt I have no one else for I guess it’s the starting point in searching for such meaning. I now believe that those frustrating situations with my loved ones are the ones that keep me going. Without such, I could not have become a person I am now- full of love, hope and faith. I am sincerely thankful for this journey and I look forward to the vast possibilities that this material world can tender.